When the world tells you to shrink, expand! This quote by Elaine Welteroth was enough of a message, along with a whole heap of personal messages I have received over the past few days for me to be able to shut down the voices of the abusers and their abuse that I copped over the past week over standing up to bullying and covert racism in a Facebook group I have been a part of for years. I’ve been told that my use of swearing and my passion for defending and standing up for the truth and those who have been bullied is wrong. I’ve also been branded as crazy and mentally unstable amongst other things. If you read up on bullying or politics, I believe the first lesson they teach is to shoot the messenger, to discredit them so the message can get lost. That very tactic is why the world is the way it is today!
We’re all a little crazy aren’t we? And, isn’t funny that if you stand up for something you are branded as crazy, but if you sit quietly or politely or, continue to be a covert racist, or accept the status quo because of your white privilege then, you’re normal. Well fuck being normal. I’ve never wanted to be shoved into that fucking pot full of people who never stand up for anything, sometimes not even for themselves! That’s sad!
Anyway, I suppose I want to say a few things here, firstly, don’t let anyone or even a group of other people tell you who you are! Fuck them. And in particular during this time where a lot of privileged people are feeling uncomfortable because they’re getting called out for either being racist or, for allowing it to happen because of their white privilege. The truth hurts and to ignore the truth and to numb the pain, some people will do anything to squirm their way out of confronting it. They’ll stick together in their privileged groups and start name calling or judging people who don’t fit their criteria of how one should behave!
I mean, there’s a fine line here too. If you’re someone who hasn’t done the work on yourself, or, who doesn’t analyse the fuck out of yourself and who doesn’t confront yourself by asking, is there merit in what they are saying? Or, if you can’t be objective, if you don’t ask close friends and family that you trust and who don’t just blow smoke up your arse and who will lovingly tell you that you’re being a dick if you are being a dick, then, maybe you need to do some work…
Secondly, if you know yourself inside out, and, you’ve done the work and you have the checks in balance, trust your gut! Trust your own instincts and intuition. It’s ok to get angry. It’s ok to speak out. It’s ok not to communicate the way other people expect you to! Say what has to be said. It’s not easy to confront a group of hostile people, so do the best you can, but don’t let them silence you!
Thirdly, what I’m trying to say here is this, no one should be berated or called names or shamed for wanting to change their spots. Some people don’t have friends and family they trust to discuss things with, so please be kind. Change can happen when we are kind to one another. And don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to be a shrinking violet either, when your gut tells you that it’s time to be angry, then be angry too. I get angry and passionate and blurt out the truth and in my blurting out of the truth, I swear, I mean, I swear all of the time, but I don’t swear like this for example: “you’re a fucking bitch” – I will say “that was a low fucking thing to do” or, “you’re a bunch of arseholes for bullying that person” I will say, “shame on you all for fucken standing by and watching and cheering and allowing that person to be bullied.” See the difference?! And sometimes, some people are simply fuckheads, so call a spade a spade.
Also a lot of people, including myself need to educate ourselves more on being anti racists. I’m a woman of colour and I need to learn more because there are definitely blind spots I have, and, I am privileged. And yes, it’s confronting and uncomfortable to acknowledge that maybe you’ve inadvertently added to someone’s pain or, have been a racist! But, we need to get the fuck over that discomfort because that’s privilege, people are getting murdered because of the colour of their skin and that’s bullshit in the first degree! We need to stand together to create real change this time. Don’t let this time to be another riot that lasts a few weeks and then everything goes back to normal. Normal is dangerous for black lives and that’s no longer an option now that we are all fully aware of it. It shouldn’t have gotten to this stage in the first place. So please, the rest of us, let’s do the work together, let’s focus on creating real change, let’s have conversations with kindness, with love to create real change.
I’m sticking to the calorie counting and, the scale is happy. I’m also feeling a lot better because I’m not so full or bloated since I’ve cut out all meats except fish. I haven’t tried any new recipes out, if you have any, please let me know!
The editing is happening and I’ve been feeling so anxious because my friend who I have employed to do the editing is a professional: she’s the real deal and, I’m petrified that she’s sitting there at her desk reading and crying because it’s so fucken boring!!
I’ll see you tomorrow!
365 Days to Achieving My Success