I’m premenstrual and have been one grumpy bitch since yesterday. I need a sign up today that says Tread Carefully, She’s In A Mood! Or, If you value your life, just nod and smile…I’d probably bite a head off if someone did that too. Last night I wasn’t in the mood to go for a walk and I couldn’t be fucked cooking, so I got hubby to order Indian takeaway…nice and fattening, just what the premenstrual doctor ordered! I also had more wine than my 100ml’s, I wasn’t in the mood to measure, it was a necessity! I ordered two small meals, both loaded with potatoes! You can never have enough potato, this is a rule of life! I even thought I was ordering a potato naan as a side, but I think my husband must have deliberately left that out of the order because he knew I’d complain about putting on weight and wanted to save himself the headache! 🤣
And, surprise surprise, the scales weren’t treading fucking carefully this morning when I stood on them…I’m up 500 grams! I’m sick and tired of making up excuses for wanting to fucking gorge my face and eat and be a sloth while I’m premenstrual…this is me, welcome to premenstrual me!
Despite being cranky and premenstrual, I always manage to laugh, that’s another rule of life! It should be law. It doesn’t matter what I’m going through, I can usually see the funny side of something, and, or, laugh at myself. My humour has saved my life over the years. It’s true what they say, a day without laughter is a day wasted. Anyway, it’s a lovely day outside today, the sun’s shining nice and brightly and there’s not a breath of wind. Hubby suggested we eat breakfast on the balcony, how romantic! I’m cranky and premenstrual as fuck remember and I said, I don’t know if I want to socialise with anyone this morning. He looked at me bewildered and said, how are you going to socialise with anyone from the balcony? Backstory, yes we are up on the top floor, so it’s not as though people walk past us, but we often see our neighbours out on their balcony and I have to say hello. So I said, I don’t want to say hello to the neighbours if they come out! And he pissed himself laughing and called me his social butterfly! How can you not laugh at that? I was being deadly serious. 😏
Since we’ve been in iso, I do hang out on the balcony quite a bit, and over the road are other houses, student accommodation I suspect because there are a lot of youngish people, and, we live right near the uni. Anyway, I can’t help but notice this one young guy up in his room sitting at his desk from morning til night with his headphones on and making sudden movements…reminds me of my son and nephews playing games on their computers. Well I’ve grown very fond of him and have adopted him, he doesn’t know this yet, but that’s ok, I’ve got his back. That’s what mothers of boys do, love from a distance because the little turds are always too busy! I even want to send food over to him sometimes, but my husband has put his foot down. Men just don’t get it do they?! 🤷🏻
I’m also really fucken angry about the state of our world. Like seriously what the fucken fuck is going on people?! Is everyone premenstrual? I mean seriously, that’s what it’s like out there. But in all seriousness, I can’t understand why people do the things they do to other people. It breaks my heart into a million pieces…how can you not feel for another human being? Look into their eyes and connect with their soul! Feel yourself in them. I hurt when others hurt. I’m an empath. But, I’m not one of those that will pretend that life is hunky dory and that if I focus on creating my own reality, everything will magically get sorted out around me. NOPE that’s just another form of bypassing. I WILL USE MY FUCKING VOICE ALWAYS!! You won’t be popular but you sure will feel good that you stood up for justice and truth! I’ve been like that ever since I was a little kid, and I will die being that way.
Yesterday I unfriended a whole heap of people off my personal facebook page, it felt fabulous. I’m sick of pretending. I didn’t even know half of the people. And some of the others I unfriended don’t even interact. Also, some people don’t even like me but neither of us had the balls to unfriend the other. And, if people don’t support you or like ANYTHING you post or share, what’s the fucken point in being there? Lurking around being all creepy. It’s called SOCIAL media fucker. You have to be social or you get unfriended.
It’s like with the decluttering process in your home, sometimes you hang on to stuff that doesn’t work, that doesn’t bring you joy or doesn’t fit you and never will or, it’s just plain fucken ugly! You have to turf that shit! Be bold, get rid of the old, make way for new energy! I think I’ll go and finish it off today, be more brutal. 🤣🤣 I’m laughing out loud here, I’ll probably end up just having 5 people on my friend’s list and my mum and sister and kids because they have to be my Facebook friends. It’s one of the only ways I get to know what’s happening in my son’s life because the turd doesn’t ring his mother like he promises he will! Oh, and in real life, I don’t have that many friends, I’m very picky with who I spend my time with.
I sent an email to my editor friend yesterday, I like her, actually, I fucken love her, she’s safe and wasn’t in the firing line at all. I asked if we could start the developmental edit because I’m getting a bit lost and want to make sure I keep focused on the theme of the book. I need her expert eyes and help! So, I’m waiting for her to get back to me…I’ll keep you posted.
Well as you read above, that went out the window. I have a hall pass and am not going to judge myself while I’m going through this mother fucking bullshit that won’t leave me the fuck alone! I mean seriously, how long do we as women have to go through this bullshit? There should be a switch that we can turn off and say enough is enough fucker! But no! So, here I am complaining about it publicly because I’ve spent the majority of my life suffering in silence. Turning up to work and life with a fucking smile on my face, whilst grimacing on the inside, feeling like I will literally pass out or die because of the pain, and, I have endometriosis too. It surprised me when I went on a group tour to Morocco last year with a bunch of other women (I will NEVER do that again), they were being all judgey and bitchy because I wasn’t my usual funny self when I got my period. I was in agony and they were right cunts about it! Oh yea, I use that word too. So if you are going to judge me about it, you’ll have to unfriend me because I’m not being sorry for who I am. Oh, and I’m practically Irish and they don’t frown about it over here! I fit right in! ☘️
Well, I feel much better now. I’ll be back tomorrow, if you’re not, nice knowing you Karen! 👋🏽🤣
365 Days to Achieving My Success