Me again! I’m starting this a bit later today because I spent over an hour talking to my parents on whatsapp. They’re so cute. I hadn’t spoken to them both in over a week so we had a lot of catching up to do. My dad makes me laugh so much. He’s always been on at me and my sister and then our kids to study, study, study. I wasn’t a brilliant student by all means and ended up dropping out of University to get married and have kids, but eventually went and studied law as a single mother. That was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, but I got more than just a law degree when I finished, I walked away with this deep knowing that nothing gets in the way of your success but you.
Prior to getting the law degree, I wasn’t able to finish a thing I started, I was quite literally the excuse queen, always armed with an excuse as to why I couldn’t finish what I had started. And, after finishing the degree, I was able to look back and see just how much, in the past, I had gotten in my own way and had used external circumstances as a reason for not doing what I had set out to do. Anyway, this is part of what I am writing about in my book, but the reason why I am telling you about it is that after I got the law degree, my dad said to me, you should have become a doctor! 🤦🏻♀️ I just laugh! 🤣🤣
About a month or so ago I started an online course and I made the mistake of telling him about it, so now every time I talk to him, he asks me how the course is going and if I’ve finished it. I haven’t looked at it for about a month now and had decided that I couldn’t be bothered finishing it and told him, but he was like, “no, you must study and finish what you start”. Bloody hell, how am I going to fit that in with everything else that I’m doing? And, the course is as boring as bat shit! He’s right though, maybe I’ll make a bit of time for it each week and just finish it! I won’t declare anything about it publicly today, it’s just a possibility for now. I just remembered another thing he always says, “study never killed anyone.” The study might not, but the boredom surely might! 🤣
I lost 100 grams yesterday. So that’s 500 grams in 8 days. It might not seem like much, but, it’s a fucken milestone to me especially because I’m still able to have a glass of wine and a chai latte and, I don’t actually feel like I’m dieting. Also, I got the recipe for the eggplant dish off my mum today, so I will attempt making it over the weekend and if it turns out nice, I’ll give it to you too if you’re interested in trying it out. Oh, and I had this amazing brainwave just as I was falling asleep last night, so I got up and sent myself an email to remind me about it in the morning. I’m going to experiment with something for when I go for my walks. I’m not going to explain it all now because it may just end up being a pile of shit and a waste of time. But, if I get it going and, if it works, I’ll let you know too! Do you experiment with yourself? I’m my own guinea pig and love conducting experiments. Just like with this blog! One of my friends is also like that and sometimes when we get together (distantly) we conduct experiments left, right and centre. It’s so much fun! You should try it. When I turn things into experiments, it helps make it fun and I’m not so concerned about or invested in the outcome, I just enjoy the experience. I try and treat every day like an experiment!
I got to part 2 of my book yesterday and as mentioned previously, I was very worried that it was a pile of shit. But, I was pleasantly surprised, it was actually good. I was happy with what I read, which is a huge thing for me because I have mega standards, ok, I’m a recovering perfectionist and, can be my own worst critic. I’ve put aside some time today to keep reading and editing which I’m excited about, and which is also a first for me! In 1997 I had a vision of myself into the future, I had written a book and was speaking to a large audience of women, that vision kept me going. However, I have made so many attempts at writing this book. I started in 2009, then gave up until 2015. Then I put it away again until 2017, worked on it on and off for a year and got it to a point where I handed it over to an editor, but, I got in the way and sabotaged the relationship with her and so we went our separate ways. I then took it to someone else in 2019 but that didn’t go anywhere and then I decided that I hated it and was never going to look at it again. I’d write a completely new book!
I worked with a writing coach to put together a new outline for a new book and, ended up pulling this one out again and, fell in love with the vision of finishing it! I looked at it with completely new eyes and, wasn’t so critical about it. I even sent part 1 out to my sister and a close friend to read and they both said that they loved it and couldn’t put it down. Well, the inner critic in me said, of course they’d say that, they love me and will tell me those kinds of things to not break my heart! But lately I have been listening to other successful women speak, in particular a podcast by Carrie Green of The Female Entrepreneur Association where she talked about sitting on her idea for FEA for 3 years before she decided, that’s it, I’m doing this, and she hasn’t looked back. She’s very inspirational and teaches everything that she knows. A true leader.
I’ve got goosebumps just thinking about that email because it was that email in particular that I received on the 19th of May that inspired me to just start this whole experiment and blog. I’ve been getting her emails for about 4 years now and in all honesty, I’ve only opened up a few of them sporadically. Anyway, the story gets better! Sometimes when I’m feeling lost and stuck, when I go to bed I ask the Universe to give me answers or next steps in my dreams while I’m asleep. Sometimes I get insights into things, usually about other people, for example, once I had a dream that my cousin’s wife was pregnant with a baby girl. They live in Iran and I hardly speak to them at all. Maybe once a year or something! I told my mum about the dream and when she spoke to my auntie, she told her about the dream. My auntie said that she didn’t have any news. But about a week or two later, my auntie rang my mum and said that her daughter in law was pregnant! She had a little girl!
But back to the story at hand, so I went to bed, asked the Universe to give me answers or next steps. I woke up the next morning and felt very emotional because I was sick of myself and always feeling like I wasn’t getting anywhere or having clear focus despite having so much inside of me! I then vaguely remembered that in my sleep I had seen Carrie’s face on video talking directly to me. Then after my breakfast I went into my office and was goofing around on Facebook and then saw an email from Carrie arrive in my inbox. At first I ignored it, but then I remembered the vision of her in my dream and decided to open it.
I watched it and it was as though she was talking directly to me, she even said in one part of it, something along the lines of, “you’re not watching this by accident”! I’ve got full body goosebumps. I love the way the Universe works, and, I love that nothing is by accident! I started this blog that day, after watching that video and decided to finally declare that I am going to be a number 1 best selling author and, I am going to speak to large audiences of women and that I inspire them, and, I’m going to have a successful business and live the life that I have always dreamed of living. No more excuses and sitting around waiting for a fairy Godmother to come and wave her magic wand and make it all happen for me! Or, sitting around feeling sorry for myself watching Netflix and eating cookies wasting my days away!
That was a lot today. It’s surprising where these blog posts take me. Seriously though, are you going to make a commitment to yourself to live your dream life instead of just dreaming about it?! You can do it! You’re worth it and, people need what you’re sitting on! Thanks for reading if you’ve read this far and, I’ll be back tomorrow! 💜
365 Days to Achieving My Success