It’s day 2 today and, even though it’s only early days, I was so productive yesterday, and, dare I say it, have felt a shift within me. Declaring out loud what I want to achieve has prompted me into creating a plan and, knowing what to do with my time. I have clarity! I remember years ago I went out with this guy for 9 years on and off. We were so bad for one another. He wanted me to be someone I wasn’t and vice versa. It was a disaster and, a very painful time of my life. However, that time with him was a great teacher, I was able to clearly identify what I didn’t want in a future partner and was able to write out in dot points what I wanted in a future partner. I had clarity! I knew what I wanted.
If you don’t know what you want with clarity it’s like not having an address to enter into your GPS. You’d end up driving around all over the place, stopping, starting, doing U turns, and probably either turning around and going home or, changing your destination. With goals and dreams, it’s a good idea to know what you want. Don’t worry the steps in between, they’ll reveal themselves to you as you embark on your new adventures.
Anyway, I’m going to break down in headings what I did yesterday and how I tackled stuff.
Like a lot of other women, I’ve had a pretty fucked up relationship with my body. Before I got pregnant with my daughter, I had a model’s body but I never appreciated it or enjoyed myself in it. I had serious body image issues and thought that I was big! After both pregnancies, and putting on up to 36 kilograms of extra weight, I have struggled for the last 26 years to stay in a stable weight range. I’ve been on so many fucking diets and fasts and fads and even though I found success with some, it was only temporary success. I’d always always put the weight back on and more.
In 2012 I lost 15 kilograms and kept it off for some years, but, it was a no carb diet and, I love pasta and rice. I can’t sit here and tell you that I will give those things up for life ever, nor would I give up a glass of wine or a drink with friends or, an eclair or whatever I felt like in the moment. Eating to me is a part of what brings me joy in life. In 2018 I got sick of myself again, having piled on a heap of weight after going through some major shit in my life. I was eating according to how I was feeling and I knew I was putting on weight but it kind of felt good too, it’s hard to explain. Well, not really, I was angry and hurt and full of emotions and when I ate and was putting on weight it felt as though I was taking out my anger on the circumstances or people, it made me feel a wicked sense of goodness or something other than the pain I was in. I hope I’ve been able to explain that properly.
Anyway, in 2018 I decided again, that I’d had enough of carrying around that extra weight. So, I downloaded the My Fitness Pal app on my phone, put my Fit Bit on and started to document every little thing that I ate and started to count my steps. I didn’t bother trying to cut calories at that stage, I just wanted to see what foods were costing me the most and, was looking for alternatives to them. For example, I love a chai latte, and, when I entered those into My Fitness Pal, I saw that my points for an entire day were consumed by one regular takeaway chai latte! So, I found an alternative. Instead, I bought the Tetley’s chai latte from the supermarket which only has just over a hundred calories!
I lost a great amount of weight walking and watching my calories. My goal was to walk 10,000 steps a day, but, I didn’t go straight out and do that, I walked my way up to it. Since we’ve been in iso though, I’ve fallen back into old habits, add to that having moved countries and, dealing with my own usual bullshit about not knowing what I am doing with myself and the frustration that goes with it, and, cooking some amazing meals, and voilá, I put on 8 kilograms! For the last two weeks or so, I have been half arsed about tracking the food I have been eating, but haven’t taken it very seriously, but did mange to lose 2.5 kilograms. But yesterday, I was so busy actually writing and completing other projects that I didn’t focus on eating! And, instead of planting my arse in front of the telly after dinner, my husband and I went for a walk! I feel very motivated this time around, and, I know I will do this. By the way, I wrote a little ebook about what to do to get started with the way that I lost weight last time, I only sent it to my sister and one of my very close friends, so if you’re interested in it, send me an email and I’ll send it to you too. It’s not 100% edited or fabulous, but, hopefully it’ll give you some ideas and tips to get you started or inspired.
I’ve been writing my book for years now, I’m not even going to tell you how many because it’s a bit embarrassing! The ironic thing about it was that for years it didn’t feel like it was heading in the direction I intuitively wanted and knew it was meant to go, but a few weeks ago I had a major breakthrough with it and guess what? I still fluffed around and avoided actually writing. My God sometimes I seriously wish I could physically kick my own arse because I annoy the living fuck out of myself! Anyway, the other day, I set a timer for one hour, put my mobile on silent, closed down Facebook and just wrote. It worked a treat. I had a mini break and then did it again and again. That was 3 solid hours of writing in one day, and a new chapter out of the way. But the next day, I only managed half an hour! So, now that I have publicly declared that this book has to be finished and published and, I have to be running workshops within 365 days, I’m not messing around. The other tip I have, which has helped this perfectionist brain of mine is to just write, not edit and not to overthink it. That can all be done after I have finished writing about that topic! I have to trick myself into these things in order to get stuff done. The other thing that has changed for me since making this declaration is that I feel like I have someone to share stuff with and take on a journey with me, even if no one reads it, it’s ok. I have this saying, you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do to get through!
Anyway, today’s post has been long and, I’ve got stuff to do, so I better get cracking. I’ll be back tomorrow to check in. And, if you feel like coming on this journey with me, just shout out by commenting or sending me an email. I’d love to have you come for the ride and for you to create your own success too! 💫💜
365 Days to Achieving My Success